As a parent, you’ll eventually face that dreaded question: “Mom, Dad, when can I get a phone?” It’s a question that can fill you with trepidation. On one hand, giving your child a smartphone opens up a whole new world of independence, connectivity, and opportunities. Conversely, it also means navigating uncharted territory filled with concerns over screen time, social media, online predators, and more.
So when is the right time? At what age should you finally relent and hand over that first smartphone? I decided to go straight to the experts to get their seasoned perspectives.
What’s the magic age for a first phone?
According to Dr. David Greenfield, founder of the Center for Internet and Technology Addiction, there is no magic age, but he advises extreme caution before age 12. “Children’s brains are still developing impulse control and self-regulation skills during elementary school,” he explains. Giving them unlimited access to the internet’s enticements too early can be a recipe for addiction and problematic behaviors.
Many child psychologists echo that stance. Dr. Amanda Gummer of the FDA’s child psychology board says, “Early adolescence, around 12-13 years old, is when most experts feel comfortable introducing kids to smartphones. ” The high school transition is a natural time as schedules grow more complex, and parents want their children to have a way to reach them easily after school.
Choosing a phone for your child
A basic phone without internet access around age 11-12, like the Pinwheel phone with parental controls built-in, can provide calling/texting while limiting distractions. Once they’ve proven they can self-regulate, a smartphone like the iPhone SE 2022 or Google Pixel 6a provides great cameras and performance for social media and schoolwork, but with strict limits, say at age 13 or 14. And even then, with intense oversight. That said, every child is different.
That multiphase approach, letting privileges expand gradually as responsibilities are handled well, is a common refrain. Just ask the mom of three, Jenna Lester, who gave her first child an essential phone at 11 but didn’t allow full smartphone capacities until she arrived at high school at 14. “It lets them prove themselves,” she says. Too much too soon is a gamble.”
Factors to consider for your family
Of course, every child develops at their own pace. Some kids may show incredible maturity at age 10, while others seem nowhere near ready at 13. As parents, you know your kids best.
You’ll also want to factor in your family’s unique situation, rules, and philosophies around phone use. You may introduce phones a little earlier if you have strict screen time limits or content filters. If you tend to be more hands-off, holding off until later may be wiser.
Costs are an obvious consideration, too. Smartphones and data plans can be pricey, especially if you’re budgeting for multiple kids. So, you should consider being able to afford the recurring expense.
Setting clear expectations is key
Regardless of what specific age you choose, most experts stress that giving a child their first smartphone should involve obvious boundaries and expectations, so be proactive about:
- Setting reasonable time limits for use
- Having discussions about online safety and appropriate conduct
- Establishing consequences for misuse or rule-breaking
- Considering parental control apps to manage and monitor use
- Modeling suitable device habits yourself as the parent
Final thoughts
The truth is, there’s no perfect one-size-fits-all answer. While the “best” age may be around 12 for most families, there’s no need to get hung up on a rigid number. Every child is different, as is every family’s situation and parenting style. Whenever you make that decision, just know that the supervision doesn’t stop there. Nearly every expert stressed that parents must stay engaged and lead by example in their healthy device habits.
